Oh man, all these words are an exciting hyperlink! We are living in the information age I bet!

Today, the man at the place where I buy lunch gave me a larger drink-cup for free. It was a magical experience.

At first, I thought he had made a mistake. "Excuse me, sir? Did you mean to--"

"Shhhh," he said, putting his salty finger to my lips. "Don't spoil it with words."

"Usually it's a smaller cup is all," I said.

His soft half-smile slowly turned into a frown. He did not remove his finger from my lips. "No words."

"I'd hate for your inventory to be off at the end of the day. I know some places count the cups."

His finger began to press harder and harder into my mouth. I could taste a little blood. "This is not how I pictured it." I noticed that he had begun to cry.

"Sir?"

"Fill your cup and get out." By this point, he was poking at the crease of my lips with his finger, as if he was trying to force his way in.

"Should I fill it up the whole way, or just enough that it's the same amount of soda that would fill a smaller cup? To be honest, I'd be guesstimating. I can't guarantee that I won't go a little over. MHHHFFFGGHHGFFFFF"

By this point, his entire right hand was in my mouth and he was face down in a bowl of spinach, crying.